"So There I Am, Drunker Than Tara Reid...."

I've had a lot to drink this weekend. Hopefully, that trend won't continue tonight, but there is a Vikings/Patriots Monday Night Football game, so it probably will. Friday night was fun because I was loaded on the job--nothing new there except it was o.k.'ed by my manager, due to it being my birthday and all. Pete bought me a bottle of John Powers Irish Whiskey (which I will say is better than Jameson) that was finished by 1 am, and Boss bought me a bottle of Basil Hayden's, that I still have. Saturday was the most boring night of in my short Sweeeney's career, but the ensuing Halloweeen Party at Allison's house was a blast. I haven't been to a house party in years, mainly because I get bored beyond tears within 10 minutes of arriving. For whatever reason, this one was fun. Finally, last night Stacey and I went to the Turf Club, which is right by my house and I've never found time to check out. Now I'm going to be a regular there. I'm going to instantly love any bar that has two 42" plasma TVs and a vending machine for a kitchen. There's no food menu, no kitchen, nothing. There was a $2 cover to get in, and we got to see two local bluegrass bands. Good times all around.

This was written in bad form, but I'm not in an editing mood today. Proper grammar and paragraph structure return later today or tomorrow. Stay Tuned!

PFP! PFP! PFP!

The 2006 World Series is over, and it couldn't have come a minute too soon. At the start, I was hoping that it would go 7 games. Buy the start of last night's game, I needed it to end. I haven't seen a team play so poorly and do everything possible to hand victory to their opponents since Neil O'Donnell threw 3 TD passes to Cowboys corner backs in the 1995 Super Bowl. If I remember right from last night's stats, the Detroit Tigers were the first team since 1930 to commit at least one error in 5 straight World Series games. Six errors in all--4 by the pitching staff and 2 from Brandon Inge on the same play (and they could've stuck him with 3 on that play). Twice, on comebackers to the pitcher, the ball was thrown into the bullpen trying to get the runner at third rather than make the smart play (Zumaya to second, Verlander to first). What's disappointing about the World Series this year is that it was a horribly anticlimatic end to a very entertaining season. The idea that these were the representatives for the year is really sad. I have to believe that the Twins would have taken the Cardinals in 5 games. Not because I'm a homer, but Minnesota wouldn't make the same fundamental mistakes that Detroit did. St. Louis didn't win because they outhit or even outplayed the Tigers, they just played the way that any smart D-League softball team does--hit the ball on the ground and make the other team throw it around. If the Twins are there in place of the Tigers, the unearned runs never happen. Oh well. I'm just happy it's over.

Time To Mellow Out

Here's to hoping that the World Series goes at least 6 games. Slated to pitch the possible Game 6 would be Kenny Rogers, he of the dirty palm. What I want to happen is have the Cardinals fly in some surgeons from a Saint Louis hospital and have them show Rogers the proper way to wash one's hands. Once that is done and his pitching hand is more sterile than a 70 year-old nuclear power plant retiree, then he can go out and extend his post-season scoreless innings streak 8 more innings. Doesn't anybody realize that after he cleaned his hand of whatever was on there, he pitched 7 more shutout innings? He only gave up something ridiculous like 2 hits over that time. Time to get over the "dirt" or whatever was there--Rogers is on fire. Just because these two teams are incredibly boring and have problems with the fundamentals of the game doesn't mean we need to nitpick on things and have them blown out of proportion to make for a good story. If Detroit fans are worth anything (which I think they are), they'll all show up to that game 6 with dirt on their hands. That would be fantastic.

Thank You, Chad Kraml

Posted By:>>>[MiM]<<<

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You could see it coming from a mile away, and it's still funny.

Is Saint Paul Really a Backwater Town?

All I wanted to do today was go and see The Protector, starring Tony Jaa. Of course, according to movies.com, it's not playing anywhere within 50 miles of 55104. Son of a bitch! This exact thing happened when Ong Bak: Thai Warrior (also starring Tony Jaa) was released. Fuck. Now I have to wait until its DVD release.

To Those Interested

We will be having friends and family over to our new house Sunday, October 29 to celebrate my birthday in belated fashion. Email me if you're interested!

My Hand is on the Plow!

God I miss him.

"What, are you gonna eat it for the rest of your life?!?"

Somebody reassure me that writing a 1500-word, 11-paragraph essay breaking down my Fantasy Football League and making picks isn't too loser-ish. Because, as proud of my work as I am (I'm one of those people who likes to see his own writing, much like some people like to hear the sound of their own voice), I feel like I need to take a shower to cleanse myself of it.

Work this weekend (Friday and Saturday), and the bar manager is gone on vacation. The burning question (which will be answered in 2 hours) is this: will Bleak or Burt fill-in, or are we going commando? I prefer option #2.

Baby's awake, gotta go!

Cheer Up, Tsjaz!

this should make you feel better.

Shake Harder, Boy!

Notice the amount of children in this family's trailer. What a story.

I saw Jennifer Aniston on the cover of People magazine at Target the other day with the headline reading "Why Vince Left Jen", and the photo of her made her look all sad and despondent (redundancy!) , like she was the victim. If she's so great, like people think, then why do people break up with her all the time?

How Appropriate

That my 100th post on this blog was me complaining about stupid kids acting like idiots at my bar. Or that I was just complaining about my bar. Happy 100th to me!

I Swear I Love This Team! Honest!

The Vikings scored the most boring 26 points in franchise history on Sunday. This may be the most boring football team I have ever seen, and they're 3-2. I'm not complaining, mind you--I'm a homer and I love my teams. And the boring style that seems to be Brad Childress Football (BCF) is obviously working--the Bears needed a late touchdown to eke out a win at Metrodome, but they've blown everybody else out (including the defending-NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks on Sunday or Monday Night Football, whichever one it was.) The Vikings (I refuse to call them the "Vikes") have been close and competitive in every game this year--no thanks to the offense. The defense recorded two TDs yesterday (or 26 Fantasy Points that I left on my bench, but that's another story) and has been pretty close to rock-solid all year long. Why does the offense suck like it does?

Brad Johnson.

Look--he's 38 with a noodle arm. Yeah, he's "savvy", and he "manages the game well", but all that will translate into is a 9-7 team (at best) and a waste of Troy Williamson's speed. So many deep balls underthrown, so many passes to the flats floated in to let unsuspecting TE's and backs get killed. I'll give him this--when he does finally connect and the play results in a touchdown, there is no one funnier to watch freak out in the league. I'd watch Johnson's celebration during the Redskins game over any TO or Chad Johnson dance. But the fact of the matter is that the front office and the fans and the media got too caught up in last year's win streak and everyone decided that he is the long-term solution. The problem is that the Vikings have made this mistake before: after the magically disappointing season of 1998, when Randall Cunningham won the MVP award, the Vikings immediately signed him to be the starting quarterback for at least the next season, possibly another. They let go of a young Brad Johnson who was just starting to come into his own as a quarterback and signed cannon-armed, pellet-brained Jeff George to back Cunningham up. What happened? Cunningham showed his age, played poorly, proved to everyone that he deserved Comeback Player of the Year for 1998, but that MVP was a little far-fetched, and lost his starting job against the Lions (post-Barry Sanders). Jeff George comes in, plays well, becomes the every-week starter, gets the nod for the next year, and sucks. What I'm trying to point out is that the Vikings can have good success with old quarterbacks, but the production they get out of them is limited at best. Brad Johnson already had his 5 game winning streak last year. Can we expect much more out of him this year? It pains me to say this, but this team would be playoff-bound with Chad Pennington under center.

Also, apparently no one told the media that BCF included shitloads of penalties, many of which come within the opponents' 20 yard line. That may need to be corrected.

Please, please, please, kids--stop drinking Jack Daniels and Jag Bombs. No more walking out on tabs, no more fights, no more being rude. Go to Bogart's Place and do that. Too much testosterone.

Here's another thing I'm tired of:

The Underdog Role in sports.

After Game 1 in which he was simply ridiculous, Frank Thomas said "no one gave us a fighting chance."

After Game 2 in which he played a major role, Nick Swisher (best name in baseball, by the way) said "we came in and did the impossible, in most people's eyes."

Know what?

YOU ARE THE DIVISION CHAMPS IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's like home-field advantage in the National League.

No one thinks you're chumps, or that you're the underdog. You're division winners, for christ's sake. These are not uneven odds. This line of motivation has to stop.

Tom Brady, after whupping the Bengals last Sunday, said that "no one gave [them] a chance." Seriously? Didn't you win three Super Bowls? Within the last 5 years? Knock if off!!! If you're in the playoffs, you're a contender, with every bit the chance that every one else has (except the Padres). Quit making it more than it is. No one is an underdog in the 2006 Baseball Playoffs. No one. Next you're going to tell me that you're taking it "one game at a time."

In retrospect, diving for a sinking line drive in the 7th inning with the game tied and two outs and the go-ahead run on first with sucker-ass Milton Bradley on deck may have been a mistake. But the Twins did go 0-15 in Game 1 with Runners in Scoring Position and 0-13 in Game 2. Torii deserves blame, but not all of it....