I've taken a brief hiatus from posting, much to the dismay of no one (I used to think that was one word, like "noone". That would be a Sileo-ism.) We've been putting in overtime here on the yard to keep up with 95 degree temperatures, only to find out that we just don't care about this yard and the house it sits on. Why, from a guy who's only immediate employment ambition is to mow lawns, would I say that? Our landlords came and removed a garden box over the weekend and stomped all over the vegetables we planted (unknowingly, I hope) without any warning. This would normally not send me into a spiral of general angst, but they Fucked With My Shit. Not the first time, either. Since the snow melted (the Dawning of Spring, I like to call it), we've been feverishly working to establish a fine yard/garden, pouring money into new seed for the grass and plants while performing mind-numbing and back-breaking work weeding the 392 gardens that line our house, only to have them show up and do their own gardening. On top of that, when we dug up the eyesore wildflowers (four of them, which looked like nothing more that weeds with blooms), a condescending message was left with Mandy stating that "it was okay, I guess, that [you] dug them up, I suppose." This contradicts a conversation that we had with them 8 months ago, when we explained our position on gardening and our plans for the coming summer (now). All was fine then, when we had "good ideas" for the yard and its landscaping potential. Now? Trampled strawberries. Fucking awesome.

Here's the deal--if you want to garden someone else's house, even if you own the deed, then you inherit all other lawncare duties and mow my fucking yard, end of story. It's a package deal--don't make me waste gas and engine life on my mower, blower and weed whipper, and you get free reign of the plants. If you don't want to mow, then stay out of our tomato plants. It's that simple. We sacrificed yard space for the kids to run around to make sure that grass would come back from dead spots that they created, and now they're here wasting my time and effort to plot some land that they don't live on anymore, presumably because it's nicer that what they have to deal with at their own house. Pay me for my services, or stay the fuck out of the backyard.

We didn't barbecue on Sunday due to recent weeks of poor turnout--not blaming anybody. We're going to wait a couple of weeks to hopefully drum up interest so we can have a good one again. We'll let everyone know when the next one will happen.

Softball finally resumes this week. We were off last Thursday due to the holiday on Monday, which is stupid because not very many people get Memorial Day Thursday off. Oh well, we haven't been playing all too well anyway, and we probably could use the break. However, I didn't do anyting to better my game with the off time, and I'm going to assume that no one else on the team did, either. So I predict another split this week, with numerous beers consumed. I haven't tried hitting from the left side of the plate yet, because I'm kind of scared. I've never hit left-handed against a live pitcher in a game situation, save for once (base-hit to right). I want to convert, and I know it would be better for my game, but I fear failing at things I'm supposed to be good at, and it would take a couple of weeks to adjust. If we were undefeated, I'd already have 10 ABs in from the left side of the plate, but every game is too close for me to mess around with that.

Still looking for "accounts" with the lawn mowing thing. Flyers coming soon....thinking about a name referring to Saint Paul's gangland heritage, like "Hollyhocks Lawn Care" or "Nina's Lawn Boy". Don't know what I'm talking about? Read this book, which I'm currently reading, and it'll tell you all you need to know about what the Capitol City used to be.

*sigh*.....

"Tank-top Screamin' 'Lotto I Don't Fit You!"'

The NBA Draft Lottery has come and gone, and the Timberwolves recieved the 6th pick. Initially excited, I looked to the first mock draft I could find and saw what I feared: 19-year old Rudy Gay, another small forward. Did I sleep through last year? Didn't Kevin McHale draft Rashad McCants? Of course, this is to be believed, being the Timberwolves and all, but come one. Ricky Davis, Trenton Hassel, McCants, Justin Reed, and Ronald Dupree all play pretty much the same position of swingman/shooting guard/plain-old small forward. Add another? This is also the guy who, during the NCAA Tournament-the biggest stage available to basketball players 19-and -Under-was called "indifferent" by commentators. How the hell are you "indifferent" when you're playing in the Sweet 16 on perhaps the most talented roster in the tournament, a roster that many (including myself) picked to win the title? How is that attitude going to translate to the NBA? Rashad McCants came in with the same reputation, and Dwayne Casey punished him by not playing him. Score 17 one night, but let the guy you're defending got for 16? Pine. They say Rudy Gay has more talent than McCants and was maybe the most talented player in the NCAA Tournament. So if he comes in not willing to play defense and not able keep his head in the game at all times, he'll see 10-15 minutes a game until the Wolves are out of the playoffs again. Not to mention that Kevin Garnett will kill him, literally. So this is real disappointing, because the Wolves need help in the low post (read: center) who can take some of the rebounding pressure off of Kevin, and they need a point guard who can effectively run and control a game--Marcus Banks is not the answer here. The top 3 picks will be the only 3 big men in the draft available (LaMarcus Aldridge, Adam Morrison, and Andrea Barganini), leaving the Wolves out of luck there, but two points will be sitting around at picks 5-6--Brandon Roy and Marcus Williams. So take a guy that can actually help your team become a factor again in the West and stop trying to fill the void that was left behind by Latrell Sprewell.

"...and tables 15 and up, if you'd please keep the volume down...."

TJ and Jen got married yesterday. Nice ceremony in an enormous Rosemountian church. The wedding party was huge--10 groomsmen and 8 bridesmaids. It was a Catholic wedding, so by the end of the 40-minute ceremony I was beat. Those Catholics must have real strong legs from all of the standing up and sitting down routines.

The ceremony was over by 2:40, and by 3:00 we were on the way north to Sweeney's for some time-killing cocktails and a little horse racing. I bought in on a wager board for $10--Bernardini to show (third place). So of course he won and I got squat. We spent 3 1/2 hours and lots of money at the bar before it was time to get over to the Minnesota History Center, a gargantuan marble-floored building with spectacular views of the Capitol and the Xcel Energy Center.

Doors opened at 6:30 and we were in, and it was on from that point. The Dundores thoughtfully hosted tap beer (Miller Lite) and wine, red and white. Generous move that got all attendees pretty much wasted. Mandy drank Absolut diets for most of the night, while I stayed classy and stuck with free beer. Everybody's drinking and having a good time when bar service ended at 7:15, which I thought was very odd. "Everybody to their seats for dinner" was the command, and I realized how hungry I was, so I put off my quest to find out what was going on with the bar and go eat.

Myself and Mandy, Jennifer and Chadly Thomasson, Zach Quinn and Molly Bevan, Bob Grinde, Mark Buege. This was the roster for Table 22, which quickly gained the reputation of "that table". It was hard to hear and see from where we were, so we applauded at the appropriate times and laughed at the appropriate times, but because we didn't really know what was going on, we had to keep ourselves entertained. Which we did. An announcement was made (see the title of this post) that was more or less directed at our table, due to all of our carrying-on. Rumor quickly spread to the head table that Chadly was burning rose petals in the candles--not true, although not that much of a stretch for him. A $15 bribe attempt was rejected by Shirley, our waitress, to find us some booze, and she walked away before we could up the ante.

Dinner arrived, and I would have paid for this meal myself. Chicken with rhubarb sauce, asparagus, and a twice-baked potato. For five minutes we were all actually quiet while housing the food in front of us. Dessert came in cupcake form, also very good. What made them better was Chadly took Mark's cupcake and shoved his nose in the frosting, then calmly set it back down before he got back, and it took his wife and Mandy to convince him to wipe it off his face. At this point I was in tears, due to a combo platter of hysterics and want for more beer.

The bar re-opened at 9:30, and a line had formed at about 9:15 like people waiting to buy Tool tickets. Quite a sight. With the beer/liquor flowing anew, the dance floor quickly became the main attraction with TJ and Jen going through the standard 1st dance, parent's dance, dollar dance, etc. They really threw a great party for everyone. This was a very enjoyable wedding. I'd like congratulate them both, and wish them both the best. Enjoy Target on a $30 budget.

Oh Onion, Could You Be Any Funnier?

Read this story. It's very funny. I've been lucky, in my career I don't think I've had to wait on people like that more than 3 times ever.

Big twi-night doubleheader for us tonight, as we try to get and stay above .500 for the first time this year (three splits). We play the late games, under the lights and in the cool weather, which makes for some fine softball. I'm looking to erase the negative memories of my backwards-K (strikeout looking), botched play at the plate and ensuing overthrow to second, and dropped flyball in right-center. Just to go through both games with no errors would be a nice contribution. As always, updates and stats to follow.

We have an all-staff meeting at work on Sunday, and there's ominous tones to the whole thing. Lots of nervousness from the staff. Now next week's schedule is convienently "missing". Cocktails will be had afterwards, I believe it's safe to assume. I don't think I or anyone else is getting fired, but there could be some changes in the nightly operations of my favorite bar. As always, updates and stats to follow.

We're barbecueing (sp?) again this Sunday. We'll be thawing out the brats and Polish sausages that didn't get used last weekend (which was a lot). As per usual, all are invited. Same rules apply--bring booze and a side dish. Grill goes on at 6-6:30. Let me know if you're coming, so we can accomodate!

If you haven't checked out Gnarls Barkley yet, I highly recommend that you do so. He thinks he's crazy.

Baseball Blog

It's up and running, and here is the address. Also contributing will be Chad Buege, my best male friend of 19+ years. It may be updated more often than this one, but I doubt it. They'll be about even. Either way, I'm leaving that one to all my baseball rants, but the softball stats and other stupid things I do will remain here. Perfect.

Yardwork

They say (and who are they?) that the time to plant seed in your lawn is May 15. It must be true, because yesterday was a perfect yardwork day--rain early so the ground was wet, sun later so the ground would dry. We bought this lawn replacement mulch, which I've never used before, to fill huge bald spots in our yard. I'm hoping it works out okay, because it's kind of fun to use.

What's not fun to use is the insect killer needed to take care of the ant metropolis in the yard next to us. This is one huge plot of ants, and they're the kind that bite. Biting ants + 4 kids 8 and under=bad news, so we're treating the abandoned neighbor's yard, much to my chagrin. But if that shit spreads to our grass I'll be furious, so you do what you have to do.

This is all good practice, as I plan to turn a buck or two out of this kind of work, as mentioned here. I plan to start taking calls and doing some work by Monday of next week. Again, any interested parties, let me know. I'll cut your grass up real good.

The Baseball Blog is definately in the works. I need a good name for it. Should be up and running today or tomorrow. I'll keep you'ns posted, fo sho.

Stat Sheet

Okay, I hooked up with a free webhosting service, so now I should be able to link the stat sheet and make it readily available for all to see. Good times!

Stat Sheet for 5-11-06

I was excited--

-I was looking around The Twins Official Website and saw an oppportunity to post a Twins/MLB-specific blog, linked directly at MLB.com. As it turns out, you blog there for free for 30 days, then after that it jumps to $4.95 per month or a buyout option at $49.95 for 12 months. Does this fee count towards revenue sharing? Can my monthly $5 go towards Pohlad Stadium instead? Baseball does not need my $5--they're doing just fine. They also probably don't need me blooging on one of their team sites, sharing my opinions with the general public, but that's neither here nor there. So I think I may start a baseball-specific blog here on Blogger, in addition to this small slice of lovely I've got going here.

worst game of my life.....

In last night's second game, I: struck out looking, inexplicably forgot to put the tag on the runner at the plate (where I had him dead to rights by three feet) and instead threw from home to second trying to get the runner at 2, called the right fielder off three times on one popup only to have the ball pop out of my glove (the conversation between me and Fricke reads like this: Me: I got it! Fricke: You got it? Me: Yeah, I got it. Fricke: You do? Me: Yep! Ball pops out of my glove), and got doubled off at second on a line drive to short, and I represented the tying run. It can't possibly get any worse next week. Oh yeah, and I ruined my OBP (On-Base Percentage) of 1.000 by the aforementioned K and a fly-out to left. Good times. I'll have the stat sheet ready later this weekend.

Check This Out

Thanks to Kelvie for this.
This story is baffling. A bag? Really? That's worth $4,000 in damages? Find something better to do, for god's sake! Can I sue when I don't get a bat at the Dome because I'm not 14?

Business Venture

I'm thinking about lawncare for some extra cash, a little day work on the side. If anyone knows anybody who'd be interested, let me know. I'd like to think I do a pretty good job (only ChemLawn has us outdone on our block).

Gotta Love Philly Fans....

I'm actually a Bonds fan and this is still awesome.

Stat Package! Package!

These are rough estimates, due to the fact that we all score the game differently--i.e. some people mark hits, walks, errors, fielder's choice, while some people do not. So I'm going off what I remember and what is written down, and we'll just use these numbers as a base for the rest of the season. Cheers!

again--if anybody knows how I can link the file directly from my computer so it can be downloaded, please let me know, because this way sucks ass.

Court Fight, Round 1

Rewind to September 2004. I'm heading over to Kraml's to watch the Vikings lose a Week 2 game to the Eagles on Monday Night Football, one best remembered for Mike Tice's non-challenge of a controversial Terrel Owens touchdown. It's 5:00p.m., and I've just finished my day bartending shift at Grizzly's when I get a phone call from Mandy--she's been in a car accident on Cedar Ave and the look of the 4Runner is pretty bad. "Was it your fault?" I asked, only to find out she'd been rear-ended by some inattentive driver on his cell phone. The 4Runner was destroyed, and Mandy's back was in shambles. Juliet, Bella, Mia, and the then-unborn Molly were all in the car as well, with only Mia sustaining minor whiplash. Fast-forward to the present: Mandy's first court date regarding the accident is today. Good luck baby, I know you're nervous.

Bat Signal

We're barbecueing tonight, due to the gorgeous weather. Same rules apply--bring booze, something to share, etc. I believe the fare will be bratwurst. Right!

This needs to be read. She nails it. I hope she gives it a cool name, like "The Seven Commandments" or something. Maybe even turn it into a movie and have Charleton Heston digitally inserted as the lead character ("Let My Table Go!"). Very entertaining stuff. Thank you, SassyQuack.

Ben? When did you start playing for the Grizzlies? Isn't the bike ride to Memphis a long one?

Softball

We split last night, losing the first game 17-7 (in which we put up 7 runs in the first inning), then won the next game 19-11. It was rotten-ass cold for a May softball game, but good times were still had by all. I'm posting a full stat package (package!) tomorrow in Excel form, but I need to know how to link it here and make it available to download. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Break-ins Part 2

Here's an addition to the previous list:

14. Last night (May 2) my 1998 Pontiac Montana was broken into, with an attempt (unsuccessful) made on the DVD player, settling for the CD visor, containing 20 CDs.

That's right! No word of it a lie!