Sports (Don't read if you don't care about them)

When normal people like you and me say that the MVP of Major League Baseball should come from a playoff team, that's just normal sports-talk. When players who finished as the runner-up to Ryan Howard in the National League MVP voting say it, it's just plain whining. You can be upset because you didn't win, but you're a professional, so act like one. No one is going to listen to Pujols whine and complain about the playoff requirement and take his side. He comes off as childish and spoiled.

This whole Kelly Naqi/Michael Strahan thing is getting blown way out of proportion, on both sides. First of all, why is Strahan wasting his time with this woman? She's a regional reporter for ESPN. He said that he came out to talk to the reporters because of the questions she was asking (he wasn't scheduled to talk to the media that day). Seriously? You don't have other, more glaring issues with your health and your suddenly terrible team to deal with? And what a spaz--she's a 110 lb woman and he's a professional defensive end. Getting in her face about it and freaking out about being a "man" seems a little over-the-top. And on the ESPN side, the way the clip is shown and the reports are written, you'd think Strahan was two seconds away from punching her in the face. If you go to the website and read the side story about it, you'll see some very uncharacteristic biased reporting. I understand that they have to defend their reporter, but it's as if Stephen Colbert wrote it for them.

I'm completely onboard with the idea of this as the Wolves starting linep: PG Randy Foye, SG Mike James, SF Ricky Davis/Marko Jaric, PF Kevin Garnett, C Craig Smith. Start two rookies? Foye and Smith are the second- and third-best players on the team (respectively) behind Kevin, and they give the team the best chance to win. Randy Foye could be a legitimate Rookie of the Year candidate.

Apparently the Wild aren't playing so well right now, losing to a good San Jose team last night. It's hard to care right now when 1.) Gophers Hockey (men's) is no. 1 in the nation right now, currently unbeaten, and 2.) the NHL (much like the NBA) is pretty boring until the All Star Break. So I'll pay more attention to them then.

The Gophers have a men's basketball program. They're currently holding sign-ups for the intermural Big Ten season--they'll play against other intermural squads such as #1 Ohio State, #16 Wisconsin and others. Dan Monson is going to play intermural coach and it should be a good time. They've lost 5 in a row to teams I didn't even know existed (like Marist). But Dave Faunce, if you're reading this, I'll still go to any game you don't want to.

A Town Called Kickapoo

Here's what you missed from me in the last week:

1.)I saw "Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny". It got railed by critics, and a lot of people said they just recycled old jokes from the first record. Well of course they did! The whole story of the movie is how Jack Black and Kyle Gass meet to form present-day Tenacious D, and the whole premise of the first record was how Jack Black and Kyle Gass met to form present-day Tenacious D. And you can't tell me that it's not funny--cock push-ups were funny then and they're funny now. Plus, the new music, ripe with cameos and guest-spots, is fantastic. I loved the movie, can't wait to see it again, and will buy it when it's released on DVD.

2.)The Second-Busiest Day of the Year came and went by Sweeney's, and it wasn't that busy. In fact, Jed and I were kinda bored all night, and I wasn't near drunk enough. Same could be said for Friday and Saturday night. Historically, Thanksgiving kicks off the winter busy season. If this past week was any indication of how it's going to go, then I'm going to be very poor and very bored.

3.)Nice win! Vikings still suck.

4.)I found a new place for me to clog my arteries: The Groveland Tap. They have a good standard Juicy Lucy, and I'm excited to try the Cajun: cajun seasoning on top, pepperjack and jalepenos on the inside. I doubt that it's better than the Paul Molitor from the Nook, but I'm ready nonetheless.

5.)The Har-Mar theater does new-releases for $5.50 every Thursday, including night shows. Consider myself a regular (its where I saw Borat, which was hilarious).

6.)Going to Eagan to borrow Rich's extension ladder and leaf blower tomorrow before work. The plan is to get the lawn clear and the Christmas lights up before the snow comes. Pictures to follow.

That's about all for now. I'll write something dumb tomorrow while Molly's taking a nap.

It Should've Been Jeter?!?!?!?!

I'm so horribly tired of the East Coast Media determining who should be what and how it should happen. Justin Morneau was named AL MVP today, and rather than celebrating his achievement, all ESPN ran today was "Should Jeter be the MVP" and "Is Morneau the real MVP"? Listen--of all the players with a realistic shot, Morneau was the most well-rounded player of all of them. Jeter hit .330-something, which was nice, and drove in over 80 RBIs from the 2-spot in the lineup. Does that make Morneau's .324, 35HR, 125 RBI year any less relevant? Did Jeter make the Yankees do anything special due to his year? New York would make the playoffs if Jeter hit .220. The Twins do not make the playoffs, let alone win the division, if Morneau played like he played last year. I can't even watch the coverage because it's all about Jeter not winning, when the focus should be on Justin Morneau winning.

A Little Help

A girl that I've been friends with since elementary school got married back on the 11th or something similar. Now, my roommate Stacey got the invite well before I did, and when she got it, I assumed (after another week of not receiving it) that I was not invited. I was a little put off, but viewed it as no big deal. Well, two weeks before the wedding (and long after the invites were sent out), I received my formal invitation--problem was that as far as my work schedule goes, it was way too late to get that Saturday off. Now what I'm hearing is 1) I was "missed", and 2) that I have to give this person a call to apologize. Now, as far as no. 2 goes, I had planned on doing that up until I found out that it was expected of me. The excuse for me getting my invite late was that she didn't have my current address. I, like many other people, own a cell phone, and did not get nary a call trying to pin down my location. Would that step be necessary? No, but if it was so important for me to be there, then it would also be of equal importance to try and find out where the hell I live, which could've been deduced with a simple phone call. It wasn't my wedding, so the responsibility, I think, would not be placed on me. Maybe I'm overreacting to the whole thing, but should I feel put off, or is she right?

You, Not So Much

I saw Borat tonight. Hysterical, and it lived up to the hype. I'm sorta drunk right now, so I'll talk about it later. Great movie though--see it before all the lawsuits take their toll. Speaking of, where's PETA? Shouldn't they be boycotting this?

Read the story here.

"We Cleared The Room Out Like A Bad Fart!"

For the first time in what seems like a long time, Sung and I hung out for an entire evening. The night started off with her not being up for leaving the house. Which was fine, except that there was no one here for the whole evening, with Mandy being off with her school chums and the children in Farmington with their Grandmother. I had intentions of sitting around playing Madden all night but thought better of it, so I guilted her into coming out with me (the exact line was "I guess I'm eating alone then", and it worked). For the first time since I moved to Saint Paul, I gave her flawless directions and she didn't have to call Mandy to get her un-lost. We hung out for a little bit, I gave the obligatory tour of the new house (bedrooms excluded because they look like a small bomb went off in them), and played with the dog for a little bit before heading out to the Wild Onion for dinner--which seems wierd because I only know the Onion as a haven for douchebags on the dancefloor. As it turns out, the food is pretty good and if you get there before 9 at night, it's a nice place to sit and eat. I turned in the strange order of the night--it went as follows: "I'll have a cup of the French Onion Soup, and the French Dip with no onions, with French Fries". Sung quickly quipped (that's alliteration, homes): "and a French Kiss" at which point our server seemed really uncomfortable standing there. We didn't really know what we were going to do after that, when she realized that it was indeed Thursday and there was karaoke to be sung at The Sports Page in Bloomington. She goaded Joon into coming out, which was rad because I haven't seen her in a couple of years.

I followed her out to Joon's house and met Mike, Joon's husband, and Allan, their over-hyper Pug. Mike made a whiskey and caffeine-free Diet Pepsi for him and myself, which was extra-tasty due to the fact that the whiskey was a couple of years old and was in a water bottle. After a few minutes, we walked over to the bar.

We walked in and saw that karaoke was going to be a challenge. There was some good bar talent there. One woman was a dead-ringer for Pat Benetar, vocally, and there was a couple who nailed a few tunes from Rent. Sung kicked her show off with a stunning rendition of Tom Jones' "She's A Lady", complete with dance moves. (It should be noted that she warmed up on the way back to my house in the car at top volume). We were surprised because it went over really well--not that we were afraid that she would do a bad job, but because it didn't look like a Tom Jones-bar. As is with most suburban karaoke joints, there was a lot of bad country songs to be heard. But she did very well, and it was on from that point.

I went with an old standby of mine, the Cherry Poppin' Daddies' "Zoot Suit Riot". Usually I nail this one sober and proceed from there, but I was not that good last night. Oh well. Sung went on to do "9 to 5" and "It's Not Unusual". We also ruined an already terrible song by dueting "Picture" by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow. It was at that point that most of the bar patrons left.

There's more to the story, but I have to go to work. But this picture is for Sung, and thanks for the good times last night.

Bryan Pata

A couple of weeks ago, I was going to rag on the University of Miami for the fight they were involved in. While they're not exempt from the awful things that transpired, none of that matters now as Bryan Pata was killed tonight at an apartment just off of campus that he lived at. Say what you want to about them, but no one needs that. The program as a whole is still in trouble, but no one needs to deal with an untimely death. Very sad, indeed.

Dear Tim Pawlenty

Fuck you. You're a dick. Your ads were shit, but played to the simple-mindedness that is the "Heartland of Minnesota". Here's to hoping that with this win, you learn how to not act like an ass at a bar. Fuck you.

That's News To Me

Someone has brought to my attention that my stuff's getting a little too sporty, for lack of a better term. So here's what I've been doing over the past couple of days:

1.) I bought Guitar Hero. There are not words to describe how fun this game is, even when you're not hitting any notes on Medium level. I find myself: a.)laughing at all the songs that I've not heard in a while or looking at them in a new way--"More Than a Feeling" by Boston is a really fun song to play, and b.)getting a little too into the game. Mandy came home from school one afternoon and saw me standing in front of the TV playing as if it were a real guitar. "Do you always play standing up?" she said. "Well yeah--the guitar is too little to rest your arm on like a real guitar, so by standing up, I can get to the notes more efficiently" was my response. She just gave me a blank stare and walked away, and I continued my "Ziggy Stardust" solo. Loser? Perhaps, but how many people can honestly walk around calling themselves "Guitar Hero" (even if it's at the "easy" level)?

2.) Stayed after work on Wednesday night and watched Alternative Comedy Night at Sweeney's, hosted by and starring Sam Grittner. I work with Sam, and he'd been telling everyone who walked through the door to come and check it out, so I went. First off, I had no idea what exactly "alternative comedy" was--I was thinking that it would be jokes about therapy while wearing a flannel shirt and having a quirky stage name like "Ned's Atomic Dust Bin". I was pleasantly surprised to learn that all it really is is utilizing "fuck" a lot (which is something I can appreciate) and being generally offensive in a way that everybody can both understand and laugh at. The show featured Tommy Ryman, Shwin, a surprise guest whose name I can't remember, and Sam as the headliner. It's now almost a week later and I don't remember the detail of each act, but I can tell you that it was very worth the $5 cover, and I encourage all to attend next month. I'll get the date from him and I'll bring a notebook along to take notes so I can give a nice fluff-piece review of the December show. Good times.

That same night I also got to hang out with Sung Sook and her friend Kyle. We had a nice time, I swiped a free pitcher of tasty Miller Lite for us, and she gave me my birthday present: Sid Hartman's Great Minnesota Sports Moments. I love this book, even though I can't stand Sid as a writer or a person (his ego has no match). So thanks, baby!

3.) I saw Talledega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby on Thursday night at the cheap theater in Roseville. I sat outside the theater hemming and hawing between that or Beerfest. I now wish I would've seen the latter. Ricky Bobby was a funny movie, but....maybe it's because I don't like NASCAR, maybe I was holding expectations too high, I don't know. It made me laugh out loud several times, but it just wasn't what I thought it would be. I can't really put a finger on why. One interesting thing I noticed (and I'm sure I'm not the only one, because I'm not that smart) was the parrallel between the movie's two main characters (Ricky Bobby and Cal Naughton Jr.) and their real-life counterparts (Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly). I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but here's the thing: in the movie, RB and CNJ are best friends who end up on the same racing team and CNJ always helps RB win races, completely playing a back-up role. I kind of feel like Reilly is like that in real life: horribly funny, but always the undercard to Ferrell's or Carrell's main event. One of these days, John C. Reilly is going to do a feature comedy written by whoever writes Anchorman and 40 Year-Old Virgin and Old School and all those others and it's going to be hysterical.

4.) I traded in my Jeep for a 2003 Dodge Durango. Now I just need to sell the mini-van and I'm all set.

Stay in your car

Listen to this. I want to drink beer with the guy making the phone call.