When I open a bar, or purchase an existing bar from somebody else, here's how things will be:

• Families are sweet if they come, but should not expect to be catered to. No kids menu, no plastic cups with tops, no mascot. All minors out by 9 p.m.
• No XM Radio because it sucks. When the best possible station plays songs by The Cranberries, that aren't "Zombie" (which would be for imitation purposes only, I would imagine), then serious issues need to be addressed by Sony.
• Drink. On your shift. Just make sure you pay for it (or get your customers to), don't get obliterated, and take a cab home if necessary.
• No uniforms. Come as you are. Just make certain that all the necessities are covered-tastefully, if possible.
• Crabby? Fine.
• Lady bartenders. You can only have so many "alpha males".
• Only those who are scheduled to pour drinks are allowed access to the booze. Kitchen managers, banquet supervisors, dishwashers, bar managers--stay out.
• Someone's being a dick/snatch? Cut them off, for no reason. We don't need them.
• Baseball gets TV priority over any football game, no exception.
• Good things can come from corporate restaurants, but so can bad things. Lots of bad things.
• Comp tabs are to be used by descretion and the honor system--not my business who you buy a drink for, no explanation necessary, just don't have a $200 tab with $600 in sales.
• Managers? I can do without them.

I kind of hate my job right now, which sucks, because this is the best bar job I've ever had. And I love the bar, and all the people I work with. But it's starting to get a little corporate.....