The Year in Youth Sports
As taken from Patrick Hruby's Page 2 column:
Because Pol Pot snippets are too hard to find
A North Carolina high school soccer team played a 90-second portion of a speech from Adolf Hitler over the PA system during pregame warmups.
Happens to the best of us
Said the school's principal in an apology fax: "We have a German exchange student on our team. He taught our students to say ['on to victory'] in German. Some of our more zealous students sought to capture this slogan in German and to play it on the PA. They copied it from a speech by Hitler but could not just copy the 'On to victory' and got too much of the speech."
Apology fax time!
A Nebraska youth football coach was charged with 96 counts of possession of child pornography after handing out football camp flyers that had been printed out on child porn he had been looking at while drunk.
That'll learn 'em
A Texas high school football coach kicked six players off the team because they donated blood before practice.
Now soliciting blood donations
A Utah high school football player was charged with assault for allegedly putting a thumbtack in his glove and pricking opponents during postgame handshakes.
Molding boys into men, one crackback block at a time
Former Carolina Panthers lineman Kevin Donnalley resigned his position as a high school football coach after he reportedly disciplined a player by taking a running start and hitting the player from behind, then disciplining two teammates who tried to help the player up.
Woody Hayes? Wuss
A California assistant youth football coach was arrested for rushing onto the field during a game and tackling an opposing player.
"And when you want that first down as much as you want oxygen, that's when you'll be a champion!"
An Oklahoma assistant high school football coach grabbed one of his players by the throat, threw him against a wall and choked him until he passed out.
Hey, you can't be too careful around youth football coaches
A Philadelphia man pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn't getting enough playing time.
Pulling a gun? So uncouth
A Virginia youth football league commissioner fired a team's coach on the eve of the playoffs because the coach failed to play the commissioner's son exactly as he demanded.
Friday's school lunch: shish kabob
Utah high school students killed a sheep and hung it on the goal posts of a rival school prior to a football game.
Because a diaper would have chafed
A Florida junior high baseball coach was accused of forcing a player to strip and suck his thumb while running laps.
One buck to avoid firearms, animal sacrifice, child porn, naked laps, youth football coaches and Hitler's Greatest Hits? Sounds like a bargain to us
A Florida middle school teacher was charged with bribery for allegedly letting children pay a $1 a day to skip gym class.
God I miss Little League.
Because Pol Pot snippets are too hard to find
A North Carolina high school soccer team played a 90-second portion of a speech from Adolf Hitler over the PA system during pregame warmups.
Happens to the best of us
Said the school's principal in an apology fax: "We have a German exchange student on our team. He taught our students to say ['on to victory'] in German. Some of our more zealous students sought to capture this slogan in German and to play it on the PA. They copied it from a speech by Hitler but could not just copy the 'On to victory' and got too much of the speech."
Apology fax time!
A Nebraska youth football coach was charged with 96 counts of possession of child pornography after handing out football camp flyers that had been printed out on child porn he had been looking at while drunk.
That'll learn 'em
A Texas high school football coach kicked six players off the team because they donated blood before practice.
Now soliciting blood donations
A Utah high school football player was charged with assault for allegedly putting a thumbtack in his glove and pricking opponents during postgame handshakes.
Molding boys into men, one crackback block at a time
Former Carolina Panthers lineman Kevin Donnalley resigned his position as a high school football coach after he reportedly disciplined a player by taking a running start and hitting the player from behind, then disciplining two teammates who tried to help the player up.
Woody Hayes? Wuss
A California assistant youth football coach was arrested for rushing onto the field during a game and tackling an opposing player.
"And when you want that first down as much as you want oxygen, that's when you'll be a champion!"
An Oklahoma assistant high school football coach grabbed one of his players by the throat, threw him against a wall and choked him until he passed out.
Hey, you can't be too careful around youth football coaches
A Philadelphia man pulled a gun on a youth football coach because his son wasn't getting enough playing time.
Pulling a gun? So uncouth
A Virginia youth football league commissioner fired a team's coach on the eve of the playoffs because the coach failed to play the commissioner's son exactly as he demanded.
Friday's school lunch: shish kabob
Utah high school students killed a sheep and hung it on the goal posts of a rival school prior to a football game.
Because a diaper would have chafed
A Florida junior high baseball coach was accused of forcing a player to strip and suck his thumb while running laps.
One buck to avoid firearms, animal sacrifice, child porn, naked laps, youth football coaches and Hitler's Greatest Hits? Sounds like a bargain to us
A Florida middle school teacher was charged with bribery for allegedly letting children pay a $1 a day to skip gym class.
God I miss Little League.
posted by Zach Brown at 2:45 PM
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