What a Strange Weekend

Working Friday night was tough. Tough in one sense that I'm fully turning into an old man by getting really tired around 10:30, making a full shift hard to stay awake for. Tough in another sense that everybody in the bar sucked. Normally you have a bar full of sane, nice people with a pocket section of douchebags, but Friday night was the polar opposite. Jerk-offs everywhere, starting fights, drinking far too much, etc. The coup de grace for the evening started at 2:10 a.m. As we're trying to get everybody out the door, a guy comes up to Beth (manager) and myself and tells me to get him another Grain Belt. I told him that since it was ten after two, we were done serving and that they needed to finish up and leave. "Well, our buddy is leaving for Iraq tomorrow, so give him one more. " I rolled my eyes and let him know that no more beer was going to be served. "What the fuck? This guy is going to fight terrorists so that people like me can drink in a bar on Friday and people like you can serve me, and you're not going to get him one more beer?" It was at this moment that I almost lost my mind. But I held back: "look pal, if he's going to Iraq--voluntarily, I might add--then he believes that he's going to fight for certain rules. If he's fighting for the value of those rules, but not honoring the value of our rules, then he's a hypocrite." This is what I wish I would have said, but it came out more like this:

"I don't give a fuck where he's going or why. Finish your drink and leave."

Really put him in his place, that's for sure. He then went on and on about how they're spending so much money and that we're mistreating them, etc. By now it was 2:30 a.m. What makes people think that they run a place, just because they're spending money or going to war or there with a bunch of people? Oh well, to hell with them.

Nothing as fun as Spring Thaw! These were found, by me, in the back parking lot at work. They're minnows--ver dead, very much frozen to the ground. Not something you expect to see when you're starting your shift. Guess who got to sweep them up? No, it was me.

I hope to all that is holy that you're able to see what's going on in this picture. The world's lamest bachelor party came in Saturday night. Five guys, all wearing velour capes that look like they ripped them off from the Renaissance Festival, and velour Pope-style hats. When they first came in, I thought they were some of the Saint Paul Vulcans (some heritage group in Saint Paul that has to do with the Winter Carnival--they're the ones who got busted two winters ago molesting waitresses at Alery's). Here's the catch--there were five of them, but--get this--six hats!!!! What could they possibly be planning with the extra hat? Did one of their buddies get left behind somehow? Did a buddy die and they were carrying his hat around as an homage? Oh wait, they were using the extra to put on every girl's head that was in the bar so they could get a group photo. "Dude, Larry talked to so many chicks last night--check out the pictures!" If I was getting married, and my best man and all my friends showed up to take me out for my bachelor party, and this was the idea they gave me, I would kick them all out of my wedding and form a brand new wedding party. This was unbelievable. Between the fish and the freaks, I've decided that I'm going to start carrying a real camera to the bar with me, not just my crappy phone.

Finally, there was this nice kid and a girl who where sitting at the bar all night, getting pretty drunk for what I thought was no apparent reason. Turns out this guy got "dumped" by his fiancee on Friday and kicked out of their apartment on Saturday. Surprisingly enough, he was in pretty good spirits for being that drunk. His predicament got me to thinking of the Top-Ten Songs to Listen To After Being Dumped. Here are mine:

1. Bloodhound Gang - "No Hard Feelings"
2. Jayhawks - "Blue"
3. Stevie Wonder - "Sir Duke"
4. Ben Harper - "Another Lonely Day"
5. Puddle of Mudd - "She Hates Me"
6. William Shatner - "Common People"
7. The Beatles - "Let It Be"
8. Flogging Molly - "The Worst Day Since Yesterday"
9. Reel Big Fish - "Beer"
10. Marvin Gaye/Ben Harper - "Sexual Healing"

Maybe not in that order, and they may not be related, but I'd listen to that cd, fo' shizzle. What do you think? Let me know!